What Moving to Portugal Taught Me About Life

Anyone who knows me well will confess that my single greatest fantasy in life has always been to be a lady who lunches – I’m talking drinking champagne at 10 am on a Tuesday, dripping (and I mean, DRIPPING) in head-to-toe Chanel. 

That’s why when asked recently, “What exactly do you do all day?” 🤔 I chuckled to myself.  I often get this question since moving to Portugal, with many wondering whether I’m living out my own dream.

While I don’t drink champagne for breakfast or even own Chanel, I can happily report that I am living my dream.

But not for reasons you may think.

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Doing Me & Doing Me & Doing Me Well

The truth is, my life is really quite ordinary here – but in the most wonderful way possible. On any given day, I spend my time:

• Attending Portuguese classes (sweet mother of god, it has to be one of the absolute hardest languages to learn!)
• Baking yummy treats, testing new recipes, or dining out
• Planning our next trip
• Taking Jett for long walks 
• Watching old movies and shows
• Reading a good book

After a decade and a half of living the hard working, speed walking, grinding and striving lifestyle, I’ve finally learned to slow down and relish in all that delights me.

You see, I am a woman on a mission: to deepen my practice of honoring (and paying attention to) what I love – wearing, doing, eating, and moving in ways that make me feel more… me.

I cannot overstate what a huge shift this is because for years, I fought tooth and nail for my limitations: “I can’t do that; I’m not good enough,” “I can’t wear that; I’m not pretty or thin enough,” “I can’t lead that; I’m not smart enough.” 

Then one day, this quote stopped me in my tracks:

“How cool is it that the same God that created oceans and mountains and galaxies, looked at you and decided the world needed one of you too.” ~ Unknown

Although not religious, in that moment, I felt the words guiding me, gently, to see myself differently – more compassionately; if I really am that special and that unique then why not fight for my worthiness instead of my limitations?

• “I am enough as I am”
• “I am my own unique beauty”
• “I have a sharp mind as well as a tender heart”

It sounds so elementary, I know, but consciously choosing how I viewed myself has been a total revelation.

Catch & Release

To be honest, midlife has been a continuous journey of unlearning and releasing long-held “truths” (i.e., limiting beliefs) in favor of something more authentic. 

Don’t get me wrong; it hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to examine where they came from: childhood conditioning, societal and familial expectations — and notice their relation to my own coping mechanisms (e.g., numbing myself with food and alcohol, namely).

With time on my hands following our move, journaling became my refuge; a place where I could unpack it all – emptying my mind of the disempowering thoughts and feelings swirling around inside. 

And once I started I couldn’t stop. The emotions, from what I was coming to terms with, poured out of me and onto the pages – the deep-seated rage; the aching sadness; the long-held pain – all of which I was too afraid of acknowledging for so long.

Emotions = Information

But, what I soon learned is that my emotions were nothing to fear. They were simply shining a spotlight on old wounds that needed healing; it was information. I didn’t have to run away from them or myself any more – I no longer needed to numb. 

In getting curious about them, what I needed became clear: my own self-compassion.

Journaling is how I did just that. It’s how I got to know myself; how I learned to forgive myself and others; how I realized the importance of releasing all the beliefs and expectations that were never mine and didn’t align with who I am or wanted to be. 

Meeting Me

As I learned to embrace this new version of myself, something unexpected happened: I actually began reconnecting with a part of myself I had long forgotten—Little Sam.

I think our childhood joys are the lanterns of our soul; as a little girl, I was always in the kitchen excitedly awaiting something delicious to be served or conjuring up amazing adventures in my imagination. That’s why honoring her every day — and pursuing my passions with wild abandon (baking, cooking, traveling, reading, writing) — has become my own personal form of worship.

The quote above changed me because rather than seeing myself as a woman who needed to be “fixed” (due to something being inherently wrong with me), I started to see myself as something more – a beautiful Soul here to have a human experience. 

I am here to relish and savor and delight and celebrate MY life – all the messy emotions, all the wonderful experiences, all the mundane tasks, all the things that bring me joy. All of it. Unapologetically.

So, while I may not be a lady who lunches, my days are filled with something far more fulfilling: the chance to return to myself over and over again. 

And in case you were wondering — tea is my drink of choice at 10 am on Tuesdays. 🫖 

But Chanel? Oh, that is still very much the goal. What can I say? I like nice things. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Post photo courtesy of Natalia Segato on Unsplash.

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